May Jesus be real to you and may he be at the center of the hustle and bustle.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Wednesday, December 24
Monday, December 22
pink watched 2.5 hours of dora, but...
look at all I accomplished! Well, ok, you can't actually look at it. That would require a working digital camera and we have none. However, I did bake up a double batch of ginger snaps, a double batch of my secret recipe chocolate peppermint squares, homemade caramels, and Russian tea cakes. The dough for gingerbread men is in the fridge (we are in a ginger mood this year).
I should hire this Dora girl more often! Seems when she keeps an eye on Pink, the whole world is before me.
I should hire this Dora girl more often! Seems when she keeps an eye on Pink, the whole world is before me.
Friday, December 19
5 years, 4 graduations, 3 big moves, 1 baby, 1 wedding, and 1 miscarriage later...
we still miss you. We still wish you were here. It still hurts. Our breath still escapes us, tears still sometimes fall, and we still find ourselves wondering how so much life has passed without the one man we thought would somehow never leave. We still look around and say "I wish dad could (see/hear/experience) this." Only now the sweet mixes with, and usually overpowers, the bitter. Joy did come in the morning. And in a way you never did leave us.
We still love you, dad.
I gave this card to my dad for his birthday the year before he died. A few months later he gave it back to me for mine.
We still love you, dad.
I gave this card to my dad for his birthday the year before he died. A few months later he gave it back to me for mine.
Thursday, December 18
what i've learned in 25 months of parenting
Thank you, J, for the tag. In no particular order:
1. Humble yourself.
2. DO NOT COMPARE. Yourself or your child. We are unique individuals (how's that for redundancy?)
3. It's fun when you do compare your kid and she/he is ahead of the curve.
4. Don't smile about #3 for too long or you'll look like a fool rather than a proud mama
5. My child is not my own and giving her over to God is the hardest thing I have to do as a mother
6. When in doubt about how to handle a tantrum, kneel down, offer kind words, and give a big hug and kiss. This works with teenagers, too (at least with my students).
*disclaimer: #6 assumes that you do, in fact, dole out consequences for tantrums on a regular basis
7. Making cookies makes everything better
8. Mom really was right.
9. I hate being the bad guy.
10. Never send a child to day care in nice clothes, white clothes, or anything that you'd like to have her/him wear again.
11. It's true: the dog moves from child status to pet status the moment the carrier, filled with an extra 7.5 pounds, glides through the door
12. Read, read, read.
13. Turn to more than one person for advice.
14. When offered advice, smile and say, "Thanks. I'll keep that in mind."
15. Let your child DO things: brush teeth, help with dinner, fold laundry, put things away, etc. Build in experiences.
16. Teach cleaning up as a way of life from the moment she/he crawls.
17. Stare at her/him in the middle of the night whenever possible.
18. Spend time with other moms, with and without the kids.
19. Schedule date nights.
20. Stop discussing business with husband in front of her/him long before she/he can talk.
21. A night at home, with baby sleeping at a friend's house, can be the most romantic getaway in the world (and cheep, too).
22. Teach Bible memory verses early (I had no idea Pink would have one memorized by now)
23. Humble yourself. Again. A little more. Lit-tle more. There.
24. This should probably be first, but follow Matt. 6:33.
25. Enjoy!
1. Humble yourself.
2. DO NOT COMPARE. Yourself or your child. We are unique individuals (how's that for redundancy?)
3. It's fun when you do compare your kid and she/he is ahead of the curve.
4. Don't smile about #3 for too long or you'll look like a fool rather than a proud mama
5. My child is not my own and giving her over to God is the hardest thing I have to do as a mother
6. When in doubt about how to handle a tantrum, kneel down, offer kind words, and give a big hug and kiss. This works with teenagers, too (at least with my students).
*disclaimer: #6 assumes that you do, in fact, dole out consequences for tantrums on a regular basis
7. Making cookies makes everything better
8. Mom really was right.
9. I hate being the bad guy.
10. Never send a child to day care in nice clothes, white clothes, or anything that you'd like to have her/him wear again.
11. It's true: the dog moves from child status to pet status the moment the carrier, filled with an extra 7.5 pounds, glides through the door
12. Read, read, read.
13. Turn to more than one person for advice.
14. When offered advice, smile and say, "Thanks. I'll keep that in mind."
15. Let your child DO things: brush teeth, help with dinner, fold laundry, put things away, etc. Build in experiences.
16. Teach cleaning up as a way of life from the moment she/he crawls.
17. Stare at her/him in the middle of the night whenever possible.
18. Spend time with other moms, with and without the kids.
19. Schedule date nights.
20. Stop discussing business with husband in front of her/him long before she/he can talk.
21. A night at home, with baby sleeping at a friend's house, can be the most romantic getaway in the world (and cheep, too).
22. Teach Bible memory verses early (I had no idea Pink would have one memorized by now)
23. Humble yourself. Again. A little more. Lit-tle more. There.
24. This should probably be first, but follow Matt. 6:33.
25. Enjoy!
Friday, December 12
Wednesday, December 10
what i do that drives my husband crazy
I've been inspired by girlymama to write a post of my own just like hers. Here goes:
1. tuck in the sheets on his side of the bed
2. make him get out of bed so i can straighten the sheets before i get in
3. i'm a pile person. he is, too, but he can't take the sheer volume of two people's piles
4. when i turn the dimmer up - on the car dashboard, in the bedroom, in the bathroom. God forbid he encounter a normally-bright light bulb (say, all of 60 watts)
5. when i teach pink how to pout (in my defense, it's unintentional)
6. when he gets something out to eat or drink and i sneak the first bite as if i'm entitled to it
7. when i take the almost-empty bottles in the shower that he has already turned up-side-down, and put them back right-side-up so he has to shake the heck out of them
8. i can't finish anything. i move from project to project (see #3)
9. when i take the trash out (yes, you read that correctly. it's called a quirk and it works in my favor; I'm not going to argue it)
10. i can't for the life of me remember to save gas receipts or reset the odometer when I get gas
Now I have one thing to say about all of this: when do I get to write a list of what drives me crazy?
Wait, never mind on that forthcoming list. What he does to drive me crazy would comprise a much shorter list than the one he could come up with if I gave him even five more minutes for this one. Let's just say I'm blessed he puts up with me and and call it a day.
What do you do that drives your husband crazy? Enquiring minds want to know!
1. tuck in the sheets on his side of the bed
2. make him get out of bed so i can straighten the sheets before i get in
3. i'm a pile person. he is, too, but he can't take the sheer volume of two people's piles
4. when i turn the dimmer up - on the car dashboard, in the bedroom, in the bathroom. God forbid he encounter a normally-bright light bulb (say, all of 60 watts)
5. when i teach pink how to pout (in my defense, it's unintentional)
6. when he gets something out to eat or drink and i sneak the first bite as if i'm entitled to it
7. when i take the almost-empty bottles in the shower that he has already turned up-side-down, and put them back right-side-up so he has to shake the heck out of them
8. i can't finish anything. i move from project to project (see #3)
9. when i take the trash out (yes, you read that correctly. it's called a quirk and it works in my favor; I'm not going to argue it)
10. i can't for the life of me remember to save gas receipts or reset the odometer when I get gas
Now I have one thing to say about all of this: when do I get to write a list of what drives me crazy?
Wait, never mind on that forthcoming list. What he does to drive me crazy would comprise a much shorter list than the one he could come up with if I gave him even five more minutes for this one. Let's just say I'm blessed he puts up with me and and call it a day.
What do you do that drives your husband crazy? Enquiring minds want to know!
Tuesday, December 9
3 ingredient cookies
OK, not quite. You'll need the three listed ingredients, plus whatever it takes to make the sugar cookies (mine took oil and water).
Soooo-good-you-can't-stop-eating-them-cranberry-towers
1 package of sugar cookie dough, prepared but not baked (safety first! get the kind that does not require egg)
2 cups cranberry sauce leftover from Thanksgiving (or prepared fresh or, gasp!, from a can)
2 cups fresh whipped cream
Scoop sugar cookie dough by rounded tablespoons onto ungreased cookie sheet, 2 inches apart. Bake at 350 for 6-7 minutes until set around the edges (the center should be good and gooey)
Allow to cool slightly and remove to a flat surface to cool completely (they will fall through a cookie rack)
Stack, from bottom to top: cookie, tablespoon of cranberry, tablespoon of whipped cream, cookie, tablespoon of cranberry, tablespoon of whipped cream.
For more great tips, check out Works For Me Wednesdays
Friday, December 5
rain
The weatherman promised me rain. He said it two or three days in a row earlier this week, holding it out there, baiting me, telling me that the warm, sunny days would finally hide for a while behind dark gray clouds and drizzle. I held my breath, anxiously anticipating some wet stuff.
It's 75 and sunny outside today.
I wish I could say the same for my insides. The holidays have so far been harder than I expected. I had finally arrived at a place where the Dec 19th anniversary of my dad's death, plus his absence at the holiday table (or phone call home) was merely melancholy. It didn't feel raw, just sad. Things were good. I was healthy. I'd grieved and cried, I'd processed and coped, I'd healed quite a bit. I liked it.
But as I entered Thanksgiving tired and sick, the sudden reality of my non-pregnant state hit me hard. As soon as I knew the baby was gone, I grieved the loss of a Christmastime pregnancy. After being pregnant during the summer last time, I was relishing the cute Christmassy tops I would buy. I anticipated being able to feel kicks, and to rub on little bumps from feet sticking out of my tummy (ok, maybe that would have come after Christmas, but I was hoping).
Something about the arrival of the holidays, though, made this loss much more real. And I'm raw once again. It feels like five years ago all over again. And as the world has attacked me this past week (no joke - it's been a week when I've been assalted left and right) and I've not had time to stop and find support, the rawness of my heart has increased.
Last night it started to make sense to me. I knew I had been grieving. I knew the 10 days of sickness and lack of sleep were wearing on me. But last night I realized that, just as I was starting to come to terms with this miscarriage, I have been thrown back into the turmoil of grief.
And it's raining on the inside.
This time around, though, I'm striving to find joy in the midst of the stinging pain. I'm not going for happiness or giddiness, but for joy in knowing that Jesus, who suffered tremendously, came that his joy might be in us. In fact, the name of the blog was inspired by that verse.
Don't you just love when God gets ironic? I thought I was being so spiritual with the name of my blog; God was thinking of the challenge it would provide for me only months later: turning to my Source of joy in the rain.
It's 75 and sunny outside today.
I wish I could say the same for my insides. The holidays have so far been harder than I expected. I had finally arrived at a place where the Dec 19th anniversary of my dad's death, plus his absence at the holiday table (or phone call home) was merely melancholy. It didn't feel raw, just sad. Things were good. I was healthy. I'd grieved and cried, I'd processed and coped, I'd healed quite a bit. I liked it.
But as I entered Thanksgiving tired and sick, the sudden reality of my non-pregnant state hit me hard. As soon as I knew the baby was gone, I grieved the loss of a Christmastime pregnancy. After being pregnant during the summer last time, I was relishing the cute Christmassy tops I would buy. I anticipated being able to feel kicks, and to rub on little bumps from feet sticking out of my tummy (ok, maybe that would have come after Christmas, but I was hoping).
Something about the arrival of the holidays, though, made this loss much more real. And I'm raw once again. It feels like five years ago all over again. And as the world has attacked me this past week (no joke - it's been a week when I've been assalted left and right) and I've not had time to stop and find support, the rawness of my heart has increased.
Last night it started to make sense to me. I knew I had been grieving. I knew the 10 days of sickness and lack of sleep were wearing on me. But last night I realized that, just as I was starting to come to terms with this miscarriage, I have been thrown back into the turmoil of grief.
And it's raining on the inside.
This time around, though, I'm striving to find joy in the midst of the stinging pain. I'm not going for happiness or giddiness, but for joy in knowing that Jesus, who suffered tremendously, came that his joy might be in us. In fact, the name of the blog was inspired by that verse.
Don't you just love when God gets ironic? I thought I was being so spiritual with the name of my blog; God was thinking of the challenge it would provide for me only months later: turning to my Source of joy in the rain.
Wednesday, December 3
help please
if you know that i've visited your site before, PLEASE comment here so i have your address. i can't find my links and i have no way to visit my favorite people! the sadness continues...
yes, i'm bitter
Part of the reason I was reluctant to blog in the first place is that I fully understand how to use paper and a pen. I can write just fine that way. I also understand how to print a picture and stick it in a shoe box. I'm quite adept at keeping records in journals and shoe boxes. Things that can't be found in a dictionary or grammar book (xml and ? and > and so on) scare the heck out of me.
And now they have cost me precious sleep, a minor tiff with my husband, and worst of all, my sanity. All I wanted was a red blog. I wanted it to fit with the season and I didn't need anything too fancy. I didn't want dancing reindeer. I only wanted a little red and an updated picture of Pink.
Instead I had all of my information erased. Ahhh, the beauty of computers.
Paper isn't smarter than I am. It doesn't burn up and turn to ash, destroying my work in seconds, simply because I didn't understand the encoding of the paper. It's a piece of frickin' tree. I can't believe I just typed frickin' and I'm putting it out there in cyberspace.
My computer, however, seems to relish is relative intelligence. And so my painstakingly developed blog is on the fritz. And I have no desire to post any of the good stuff I was waiting on, when my "paper" is so horribly ugly (and secretly laughing at me).
So when I have enough patience to not throw this keyboard through the window, I will try to change the look and publish something a little less bitter.
For now, I'll watch the computer-bashing scene from Office Space and pretend it's me hitting and kicking the heck out of the thing that stole my sleep, marital harmony (though only for a few minutes), and sanity.
Ha! When I went to post this message, it didn't like the way I originally wrote computer jargon. So what you read in the first paragraph was a modified version of the signs, symbols, and letters I originally wrote. It's still laughing at me!
And now they have cost me precious sleep, a minor tiff with my husband, and worst of all, my sanity. All I wanted was a red blog. I wanted it to fit with the season and I didn't need anything too fancy. I didn't want dancing reindeer. I only wanted a little red and an updated picture of Pink.
Instead I had all of my information erased. Ahhh, the beauty of computers.
Paper isn't smarter than I am. It doesn't burn up and turn to ash, destroying my work in seconds, simply because I didn't understand the encoding of the paper. It's a piece of frickin' tree. I can't believe I just typed frickin' and I'm putting it out there in cyberspace.
My computer, however, seems to relish is relative intelligence. And so my painstakingly developed blog is on the fritz. And I have no desire to post any of the good stuff I was waiting on, when my "paper" is so horribly ugly (and secretly laughing at me).
So when I have enough patience to not throw this keyboard through the window, I will try to change the look and publish something a little less bitter.
For now, I'll watch the computer-bashing scene from Office Space and pretend it's me hitting and kicking the heck out of the thing that stole my sleep, marital harmony (though only for a few minutes), and sanity.
Ha! When I went to post this message, it didn't like the way I originally wrote computer jargon. So what you read in the first paragraph was a modified version of the signs, symbols, and letters I originally wrote. It's still laughing at me!
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