Today is my fourth day in a row away from her. It's back to work and back to reality this week. I didn't cry the first day away from her, though I did choke up a little. But when I handed her off yesterday so I could go to a dentist appt, I hated it. My instincts resisted letting her go. When I got a break at work today to pump, my heart longed for her. When she wasn't very interactive with me yesterday, I just knew that it was because she was either mad at me or had forgotten me. Logically, all my child development education tells me that isn't true. But I miss her and my heart hurts anyway.
I've been leaving Pink for three years now. I don't like it, but I'm used to it and she's used to it. Our relationship has survived just fine. In a way, this encourages me to be optimistic with Lizzie. I know that we will be just fine. But Lizzie is still my baby girl. She's still only 12 weeks old. And it's still hard to remember that she'll still love me, that I will get used to the time away from her, and that we will get through this.
I just miss her today.
4 comments:
Ugh...those emotions are still raw in my heart, even though it was short lived!! Praying for you sista!
Aww, that must be so hard. I am praying for you.
I'm so sorry friend, my heart breaks for you. I can't even imagine...
Hey there. I remember those feelings and reaching out to other women for advice about how to get through it and the only words that felt true came from my friend Joy who said, "I guess you've just got to cowgirl up and do it." It's so hard. I didn't know you were back. I'll keep you in my prayers. Seems too soon to me too.
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