completely normal

"How do you expect us to answer this question?" came the accusing words of one student today. The class was taking their final exam for the quarter, worth about 5% of their final grade in the class. I had checked over the exam thoroughly when I gave it two years ago, but didn't get out my fine-tooth comb this time around. And it bit me. My student was right: there were questions on the exam that were impossible for them to answer, and others that were confusing; all of it led to mass frustration.

For the rest of the period, I felt like I had failed them. Trying to balance time with my family with grading essays/planning meaningful units is hard: I've no where near mastered this art. But I do try hard to do right by my students. This time I'd unwittingly set them up for failure, made myself look incompetent, and felt horrible about it all.

Then about 20 minutes later I saw a student walking outside. He'd been released early to lunch by another teacher as a part of a school-wide "get good test scores, get out of class early" campaign. The only problem was that he had skipped my class this morning and missed that exam in which I embarrassed myself. And he's missed about four other days this month. So I casually walked outside, greeted him, and pulled him inside my classroom where I handed him the exam and told him to finish it. He's a great kid and we were friendly in our conversation, but I was totally the Boss and had my act together. I allowed him to send a text to the bewildered friend waiting outside, and then he got started. It was awesome.

Days like today make me feel completely inadequate, and on top of the world, and very much on the ball, and quite human in my normalness. Really, I'm not a terrible teacher or a brilliant teacher, but a teacher who is very human in her makeup and who gets better and better all the time.

And that isn't all that bad.