read part I here
This is the first time in my adult life that I've moved into a place I didn't choose. And it's also the first time that I've clung to Jesus in the middle of the night on a weekly basis, crying out to him to sustain me. It's the first time that my marriage has been transformed by a singular set of circumstances. It's the first time that I've been able to consistently turn to my God as my "first phone call" rather than seeking out people.
There are still details up in the air. But God. And through it all, I've come to new conclusions about faith.
I've learned that faith is not a feeling or a possession. It's an action. It's a decision we make every day, sometimes every moment of every day, to place our trust and our hope in Jesus regardless of what is happening in or around us. It's a choice to find our strength, our security, our future, and our joy in the Lord even when we are drained, scared, hopeless, and burdened. It's the stubborn will that places one foot in front of the other to do the next thing, to fight the next battle, when we can't see past today. It's a fight we endure while the flaming arrows of the Enemy bombard us and we are continually tempted to throw in the towel on our beliefs about God, our relationships, and our responsibilities.
It's an action. Faith makes us say aloud, all day long if we have to, "God says this is so; therefore it must be so, even if all the evidence around me for a good long time has told me otherwise." Faith calls us to look long and hard at the character of God and who he has shown himself to be. Faith is messy because it believes in spite of emotions, in spite of logic, in spite of human failings. Faith doesn't make situations pretty or easy or joyous, but it makes them do-able. Faith can't be packaged up and taught merely in Sunday School. Faith is lived out in our actions every day. Being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see is not a concept that we pull off a shelf when we think we need it. It's not a "belief" we hold. It is what allows us to carry on when everything around us and in us tells us we simply can't.
I am learning this as I grow ever so slowly in my faith.
1 comment:
Beautifully written - both part one and two. Having encountered Faith-as- soldier myself once or twice, I find your story both inspiring and comforting. That rare comfort I feel when I see my own experience in someone else's story. Thank you.
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